I remember the first time a student with special needs told me she wanted to study in Israel after high school. It was 24 years ago, and I was running a program for teens with special needs at Camp Morasha in Lake Como, Pa. Her 16-year-old excitement was infectious, but it also posed a challenge: At the time, there were no dedicated programs in Israel that specialized in the structure, support and community she needed to thrive.
Since then, we’ve come a long way.
As the number of teens and young adults with special needs choosing to spend a year in Israel gradually increases, more families are exploring what this experience could mean for their child’s growth, independence and place in the community. As the founding director of the Elaine and Norm Brodsky Darkaynu Program, which began as a way to let that camper from Morasha spend a year in Israel and now supports students with a range of cognitive and physical challenges, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing the growth that a supportive year there can inspire.
For each family, sending a daughter or son to a year-long program far from home is a deeply personal decision, one that asks parents to reflect on what they hope to give their children—and themselves—from the experience. This choice deserves thoughtful consideration as families weigh both the opportunities and responsibilities that come with it.
Is independent living possible, and is it right for your child? A year-long Israel program isn’t just a trip; it’s an immersion in a new lifestyle, and with the right support, it can be an incredible stepping stone toward independent living. For many students, it’s the first time that they’ll be responsible for many aspects of their own care, such as budgeting, cooking or managing a schedule. For those young adults on track toward any level of independence, a year in Israel can be a positive, liberating and affirming experience, preparing them for life as an adult. But knowing whether your child is ready and able is crucial.
As you evaluate whether a year in Israel is the right fit, it is important to make sure a program will be able to understand and meet your child’s needs while also encouraging them to be as independent as possible. How ready your child feels is also a key factor. Determining these things requires clear and open communication with the program as well as with your child. Direct communication between your child and the program is also often helpful in gaining the right information and for your child to feel confident and comfortable participating in the decision about whether to spend the year away.
Does the Israel experience resonate with your family and with your child? Israel carries deep meaning for many Jewish families and teens. For some, sending a child abroad, especially to a program rooted in Jewish learning and life, feels like a natural continuation of family values. But it’s worth taking a moment to ask yourself what this experience really means to you, to your child and to your community.
While the common wisdom is not to do something simply because it feels like everyone else is doing it, a year abroad in many communities is a rite of passage, and the fact that “everyone else is doing it” is indeed significant. When every other young adult in the community is heading to Israel, your child will no doubt feel left out. In these cases, parents can start by advocating for inclusivity by encouraging schools and communities to highlight special-needs programs at Israel nights and open-house events. If a suitable program is available or can be tailored to the student’s needs, families should seriously consider the option.
In communities where it is less common to spend a year in the Jewish state, skipping this experience will likely have fewer consequences in terms of social cohesion and finding one’s place in the community. But even in communities where spending a year in Israel is less common, parents of special needs children who show a strong interest in Israel travel or cultural experiences should consider the option. Especially for a teen or young adult with special needs—when they can find a suitable program—a year in Israel offers an opportunity for personal growth and establishing their own independent identity.
That is why it’s important for parents to ask and explore, along with their kids, what value a year in Israel will bring, now and in the future, and if it is worth the challenges that will inevitably come along with it.
What will a year apart mean for your family? Sending a teen or young adult child to Israel is a big adjustment—not just for them but for parents and siblings alike. It means finding new rhythms at home, adjusting routines and sometimes coping with the bittersweet feelings that come from the distance. However, it’s also a time for parents to recharge, reflect and appreciate the changes that come with respite.
First and foremost, parents should not be embarrassed, ashamed or feel guilty about acknowledging that a year without their child with special needs at home can be a time for respite. Parents of children with special needs are often accustomed to putting their own needs on the back burner. A break from intense caregiving, while often difficult to imagine, can be very healthy. It gives parents time to explore parts of their lives that they may have set aside, and to return to caregiving renewed and re-energized.
Parents should also recognize that a year in Israel for their son or daughter with special needs could offer a break to other children in the family and offer an opportunity to spend more time with those children, perhaps doing activities that are more difficult or not possible when everyone is home. In any case, think about what this time will look like for you. Will you reconnect with parts of yourself or perhaps with friends and family? Knowing that you’ll miss your child, but also being OK with that, is part of the journey.
The decision to send your teen or young adult with special needs to Israel is, at its heart, a decision about growth: theirs and yours. As you weigh the possibilities, remember that your questions, doubts and hopes are all part of preparing for this experience. Whether you decide that a year in Israel is right for your family or that a different choice is best, know that there’s no single path to growth and fulfillment.
Sending our children off to learn, explore and grow is something all parents dream of, and it’s possible for children with special needs, too. It’s a journey that starts long before they board a plane, and it continues long after they return.
May it be a meaningful one for you and your family.