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    Kinkaku-ji (Golden Temple) in Kyoto. Credit: Jaycangel/Wikipedia.

    Jewish Americans visit Japan as part of diplomacy, culture tour

    Lifestyle
    By
    David Swindle
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    On Monday, B’nai B’rith International announced the completion of a week-long trip organized by the Japan International Cooperation Center as part of the Japanese government’s annual Kakehashi Project. The project, funded by the Japanese Ministry of...
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    On several recent flights in the United States, I was rather surprised, and somewhat bemused, to see full-page ads in the airline magazines for a matchmaking service. In fact, there was more than one such service being advertised. Who would believe that in the sophisticated 21st-century, old Yente—the matchmaker from “Fiddler on the Roof”—is being resurrected? “Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch.” Oh, the ad was very slick and professional, but essentially, it was Yente all over again. Frankly, I must admit to feeling gratified seeing that the old shidduch system is alive and well in modern, corporate America. For decades, cultured Jews in the United States and elsewhere looked down upon the shidduch system still practiced in the religious community. It was considered archaic and outdated in the new age where everyone was marrying for love. It was beneath these moderns to rely on a shadchan, a “matchmaker,” to find one’s partner in life. But when you think about it, how many people find their marriage partners completely on their own? Most are introduced by a friend, given a telephone number or invited to a party where the host’s express intention is to introduce a certain man and a woman to each other. It’s probably the exception where two people happen to meet on their own and go on to marry each other, unless they were high school sweethearts who kept up the relationship. If a mutual friend who knows both parties thinks it’s a good match, it stands a far better chance of success than a random meeting at a bar, where one’s judgment is often blurred by the beer. How many people have met their bashert online on the many dating services available today? I don’t know the number, but there are a great many who have. It may be online, but it’s basically a shidduch service. I think there was always a misunderstanding of the shidduch system by people on the outside. Many thought that it was the parents choosing a match for their son or daughter, and the couple themselves had no choice in the matter. Not true! A matchmaker, shadchan, only makes a suggestion. If the couple agrees to meet, there is no coercion to marry. Millions of young religious men and women have gone on one or two dates and decided it’s not for them. End of story. Back to the drawing board until the right person comes up. How different is that from the dating sites or the socialite shadchan-like advertising in the airline magazine? Even in the religious community, parents and mentors always advise young people that there must be chemistry between a couple before they should commit to marriage. When comparing his and her résumés and profiles the union may appear great on paper, but the human element must never be compromised. The couple themselves must feel attracted to one another. As a rule, rabbis or rebbetzins who are asked for advice by indecisive, tentative men and women will always ask if there is an attraction, a vibe, a good feeling between the parties. There’s a lot to be said for the shidduch system, even with its inherent problems, which it does have. Still, the numbers don’t lie, and generations of happy, content, loving families speak for themselves. Yes, in the observant community parents are usually involved in helping their children decide who to date. But that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Parental guidance can be very helpful. Too often, I’ve been asked to counsel families where a son or daughter wanted to marry someone the parents felt was inappropriate. I can confirm that in cases where the young person defied their parents’ objections to the union, the marriage usually didn’t last. Infatuation often gets in the way of logical reasoning. While it is their decision alone, young people would be well advised to listen very carefully to their parents’ opinions and loving advice. This week’s Torah portion, Chaye Sarah, records the very first shidduch in the Bible. Abraham dispatches his trusted servant, Eliezer, to Abraham’s hometown with the singular mission of finding a wife for his son, Isaac. Eliezer meets young Rebecca at the well ... and the rest is history. She is beautiful, exceptionally kind and generous, and she is from the same family as Abraham, his great-niece, in fact. The shidduch is made, and Isaac and Rebecca marry. This match was clearly ordained by heaven, and there wasn’t much dating before it came to pass. But ever since Eliezer—the first shadchan in history—successfully concluded the deal, the shidduch system has served us well. So whether it’s from an ad in a magazine, an online dating service or your local Yente, don’t be shy to look for your bashert through the agency of an intermediary. May all our single men and women who are looking in earnest find their own bashert ASAP.

    The very first ‘shidduch’

    Lifestyle
    By
    Rabbi Yossy Goldman
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    On several recent flights in the United States, I was rather surprised, and somewhat bemused, to see full-page ads in the airline magazines for a matchmaking service. In fact, there was more than one...
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    Glass shards amid the memorabilia collection highlighting Israel's history. Photo by Hadi Orr.

    A collection of Israel’s history becomes history

    Lifestyle
    By
    David Matlow
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    We collectors are an odd but determined group. We latch on to a story and spend countless hours finding tangible items that tell it. We are determined that the story will never be forgotten....
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    Olami Souled. Courtesy of Olami.

    Empowering Jewish identity: How Olami Souled shapes women’s lives

    Lifestyle
    By
    Jewish Website
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    Behavioral therapist Chana Ben Shabat of Staten Island works full-time with children with autism and is a mentor in Olami’s Souled program. She is part of Olami’s vast mentorship network that spans multiple countries...
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    Flags, from left, of Israel, South Africa, Mexico and U.S., representing Jewish communities in those countries

    International Shabbat Prompted Jewish Mingling Among Four Cultures

    Lifestyle
    By
    Miriam Gershenson; Photos by Albert Kreimerman
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    On a memorable evening at the JCC this past Friday, community members gathered to celebrate Shabbat in a unique and vibrant way, honoring four distinct Jewish cultures: South African, Mexican, Israeli, and American. Organized...
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    Some 2,000 Jewish college students gathered in Brooklyn for a havdalah ceremony marking the end of Pegisha (“meeting”), an annual Jewish student Sabbath gathering organized by Chabad on Campus International, Nov. 16, 2024. Credit: Sholem Srugo Studio/Chabad on Campus International.

    Some 2,000 Jewish students gather in NY for Chabad havdalah ceremony

    Lifestyle
    By
    Vita Fellig
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    Some 2,000 Jewish college students gathered in Brooklyn on Saturday night for a havdalah ceremony marking the end of Pegisha (“meeting”), an annual Jewish student Sabbath gathering organized by Chabad on Campus International. Rabbi Yossy...
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    The musician John Ondrasik performs at the Jewish Federations of North America's Stand Together rally, Washington, D.C., Nov. 10, 2024. Source: YouTube screenshot/Jewish Federations of North America.

    ‘Disgrace’ artists didn’t respond to Oct. 7 as they did to Sept. 11, musician...

    Lifestyle
    By
    Emily Goldberg
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    Many rushed to support Israel after Hama’s Oct. 7, 2023 terror attack, attending rallies, holding prayer services and shipping equipment to Israel Defense Forces soldiers. John Ondrasik, the American singer and songwriter who goes by...
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    The lobby at the Nefesh B'Nefesh Tel Aviv Center. Photo by Shay Azulay/LUZ photography.

    Nefesh B’Nefesh opens Tel Aviv aliyah center

    Lifestyle
    By
    JNS
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    Nefesh B’Nefesh has opened an aliyah center in Tel Aviv, aimed to facilitate the absorption of new immigrants and assist "lone soldiers"— those in Israel without close family who can help them—in the county’s...
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    The Tikvah Forum for Families of Hostages held prayers at Rachel's Tomb just outside Bethlehem on Tuesday for the safe and speedy return of their children from the Gaza Strip. The Bnei Rachel Yeshiva hosted the event, which was attended by Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of Israel Kalman Ber and Knesset member Yitzhak Wasserlauf of the Otzma Yehudit Party. Among the family members attending the event was Tzvika Mor, whose son Eitan, then aged 23, was kidnapped to Gaza while working as a guard at the Supernova music festival on Oct. 7, 2023. Eitan saved hundreds of people from the festival before he was taken hostage. He has been held for more than 400 days. Mor told those gathered that God promised Rachel that her children will return to their borders. "There is no place more worthy to pray to God and ask him to return the hostages than at the place of her burial, and on the anniversary of her passing," he said. At a Knesset committee meeting on Tuesday, Mor said that a family which has a member kidnapped is "a wound that never heals." "It's all the time the worry. It's all the time the fear of that terrible knock on the door," he said. "The main question is why there is still no decision in Gaza, to bring the enemy to such a state that he realizes that he has no future," he said, expressing frustration that Israel still hasn't completely destroyed the enemy there. He said that pursuing a deal with Hamas for the release of the remaining hostages was a mistake. "When we pursue a deal, a deal flees from us," Mor said. Kobi Samerano, whose son Jonathan, 21, was kidnapped and murdered in Gaza, recited Kaddish, the mourners’ prayer. Samerano said it was his first visit to Rachel's Tomb. The names of the remaining hostages were read aloud. Organizing the event along with the Tikvah Forum were the Kissufim and Ayelet Hashachar groups.

    Hostages’ families hold prayer at Rachel’s Tomb

    Lifestyle
    By
    JNS
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    The Tikvah Forum for Families of Hostages held prayers at Rachel's Tomb just outside Bethlehem on Tuesday for the safe and speedy return of their children from the Gaza Strip. The Bnei Rachel Yeshiva hosted...
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    A Judaica store in Jerusalem's Old City, Dec. 24, 2016. Photo by Mendy Hechtman/Flash90.

    Study: US Jews bought 134% more Israeli Judaica since Oct. 7

    Lifestyle
    By
    Jewish Website
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    American Jews have increased their purchases of Israeli-made Judaica by 134% since the outbreak of the Swords of Iron War, according to a study by Jerusalem College of Technology (JCT) business management students. Led by...
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