Ryan Szigeti, who helps people plan their cemetery and funeral arrangements, hopes that the opening of a Jewish burial section in a non-denominational cemetery will give Jews in interfaith marriages the opportunity to be laid to rest together.
Szigeti explained that because non-Jews can’t be buried in Jewish cemeteries, interfaith couples have limited options when it comes to making funeral arrangements together.
“If I’m a Jew and my spouse is not, I can be buried in a Jewish cemetery, but my spouse can’t. Obviously for a married couple, that’s a bit of an issue. You’d obviously want to be with your significant other,” he said.
“You can go to a non-denominational cemetery, and have nothing really Jewish about it, and that has been the only option.… It’s been an elephant in the room and nothing has been changed about it.”
He said that because he has a non-Jewish fiancée and understands that this is an issue for intermarried couples who still wish to be buried together in Jewish cemeteries, he approached his superiors with an idea that could accommodate couples who wouldn’t qualify for burial in cemeteries owned by synagogues.
“The catalyst for me was that it affects me directly. My parents are both Jewish, but divorced and both remarried non-Jewish.… This affects my family and many other families, as well,” he said. “The light bulb came on and I said, ‘Oh my God, what a no-brainer.’”
He said the idea came to him about two years ago and he’s been pushing it forward since.
Thanks to Szigeti’s persistence and patience, Highland Hills Memorial Gardens in Stouffville, Ont. – which is owned by a company called Arbor Memorial that owns 41 cemeteries and 89 funeral homes across the country – recently established Mount Zion Garden, an identifiably Jewish section that will accommodate 200 plots.
Szigeti said there will be a community section for couples who are both Jewish, but unaffiliated with a synagogue, as well as a section where synagogues can buy plots.
“It’s completely Jewish like any other Jewish cemetery, but the main difference is that it does accommodate the burial of a non-Jewish partner, for which there is major, major demand. The garden will (include) a synagogue section. So if synagogues purchase their own plot, they can name their own section within.”
He said that Mount Zion Garden will feature a Star of David monument and a rabbinic assembly will be formed to oversee and maintain its Jewish identity.
“One of the main things is that there will be restrictions on the symbols on the monuments. Just like in a Jewish cemetery, we would allow Jewish symbols or secular symbols, but we wouldn’t allow a cross on a monument or something like that,” he said.
Szigeti said he recently met with executives from a number of GTA synagogues who came to Stouffville to see Mount Zion Garden.
He said most of the interest has come from Reform synagogues, but some Conservative synagogues have shown interest, as well.
He added that for Jews who are more concerned with Halachah, this is likely not an option for them.
“They wouldn’t be comfortable with the fact that this is a non-denominational cemetery and that in the distance, you can see crosses,” he said.
“But when people hear about this, they say, ‘Wow, where has something like this been?’ It’s a topic that has been talked about for such a long time and it’s basically a solution to an ongoing problem.”