With her German accent, wit and warmth, therapist Ruth Westheimer—known affectionately as “Dr. Ruth”—helped romantic couples better understand their intimate relationships for more than 40 years.
She died in Manhattan on Friday at about 11:30 p.m., aged 96, with her two children at her side, her publicist said.
“Dr. Ruth led an incredibly interesting life, pushing the envelope and redefining how we talk about sexual health,” said the World Jewish Congress. “She was also proud of her Jewish identity and embodied the spirit of Jewish resilience. ‘Looking at my four grandchildren: Hitler lost and I won,’ she said.”
The American Jewish Committee noted that Westheimer fought in the Israeli War of Independence and said, reflecting on her legacy, “I think people will say she had the guts—in Jewish tradition, it’s called chutzpah. She had the nerve to talk about things other people were too worried to talk about.”
The UJA-Federation of New York called Westheimer “incomparable” and a “global icon.” It added that in recent years, Westheimer “was also an activist in the fight against the growing loneliness epidemic.”
“Small in stature [at 4–foot-7-inches] but immense in heart, Dr. Ruth’s wisdom, wit, originality and legacy will continue to inspire us all,” the UJA said.
Westheimer rose to prominence with the success of her call-in radio show “Sexually Speaking,” which she launched in New York in 1980. The show “proved so popular that it quickly became syndicated around the country,” CNN reported. Her “Dr. Ruth Show” on the Lifetime channel ran for decades.
Westheimer penned more than 40 books, with titles that included “Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex” (1983), “Sex for Dummies” (1995) and “Stay or Go: Dr. Ruth’s Rules for Real Relationships” (2018). In 1987, she published her autobiography, “All in a Lifetime.”
She collaborated on several documentary films, and the Hulu documentary “Ask Dr. Ruth” came out in 2019.
In 2023, Westheimer was named New York State’s first loneliness ambassador. Rodale Books, a Penguin Random House imprint, plans to publish her book “The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life” in September.
Westheimer was born Karola Ruth Siegel on June 4, 1928, in Wiesenfeld, Germany to an Orthodox Jewish family. When she was 10, the Nazis kidnapped her father after Kristallnacht. She survived the Holocaust at an orphanage in Switzerland, later learning that the Nazis had murdered her parents.
“If I had not been on that train on Jan. 5, 1939 from Frankfurt to Switzerland I would not be alive,” she told Spectrum News NY1. “There was another little girl on the train younger than me. I was 10-and-a-half. She cried, she was so sad. I gave her my only dolly and said, ‘You need it more than me,’ and she hugged the doll and stopped crying.’”
After moving to Mandatory Palestine at age 16 in 1945, she worked at Kibbutz Ramat David and later became a Haganah sniper. She was wounded by a mortar shell in Jerusalem, nearly losing both of her legs, on her birthday in 1948.
After marrying a member of her kibbutz and moving to Paris, she studied psychology at the Sorbonne. The couple divorced, and she moved to New York City, where she continued her studies—including a master’s in sociology and a doctorate in education, the latter from Teachers College at Columbia University—and had two more marriages.
She went on to become a pop culture icon.
“Her contributions transcended boundaries, impacting countless lives through her compassionate guidance and groundbreaking work,” said Doug Seserman, CEO of Americans for Ben-Gurion University.
“Her legacy will continue to inspire generations of students, scholars and professionals worldwide,” Seserman added.
“I have a strong feeling that Hitler and all of the Nazis did not want me to have grandchildren. So that’s an overriding, very strong feeling of triumph,” Westheimer said, according to the Shoah Foundation at University of Southern California, “‘You see?’ With all the sadness, there is nobody that has grandchildren like mine.”