I think it’s incredible how the weekly Torah portion can often give us the most powerful lessons for life.
One of the most dramatic, emotionally moving biblical stories occurs this week in Vayigash when Joseph and his brothers reunite. After more than 20 years of not seeing each other and having no contact, the brothers come down to Egypt to buy grain during a time of famine and must negotiate with the viceroy of Egypt. Unaware that he is their long-lost brother, Joseph leads them in a complicated charade designed to test their character and commitment. When Joseph realizes that they are indeed remorseful over selling him as a slave all those years ago, he finally reveals his identity.
Shock and humiliation! Can you imagine how the brothers must have felt at that moment of truth? How deeply ashamed they must have been. Their little brother of 17 is now in his 30s and is the most powerful ruler in the region. And they had bowed down to him, fulfilling those irritating dreams of his youth.
But Joseph is not the vengeful type. Quite unbelievably, he bears no anger or resentment whatsoever. It was all part of God’s vast, eternal plan, he tells them. He comforts them and promises to look after the whole family if they all come to Egypt. They do, and the rest is history.
Joseph’s exact words were:
“Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me here; it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For it is now two years that there has been famine in the land, and there are still five years to come in which there shall be neither plowing nor reaping. God has sent me ahead of you to ensure your survival in the land and to sustain you in an extraordinary deliverance. So, it was not you who sent me here, but God who has made me a father to Pharaoh, lord of all his household, and ruler over the whole land of Egypt.”
What an amazing perspective on life! All the troubles and travails that Joseph experienced first as a slave and then as a prisoner in the dungeons of Pharaoh were part of a divine plan, and look how well it turned out. He was now the viceroy of the superpower of the day. The young “Hebrew” boy, initially disdained and looked down upon, rose to prominence overnight when he correctly interpreted the pharaoh’s dreams. And thus, he tells his brothers not to worry or feel embarrassed. It was all part of the grand heavenly plan.
How well we could all learn from Joseph’s perspective on life.
There is something called Divine Providence. It is Jewish theology and part and parcel of our belief system. We really can’t know exactly how it works, but the point is that everything is by Divine design.
Do you have any idea how comforting it is to know this?
How do people who don’t believe that God is running the world ever find comfort if they lose a loved one?
If it was an accident or if they think that the hospital or the doctors messed up, do they wallow in their anger and bitterness for life? Or do they accept that somehow, for reasons unbeknownst to them, it was meant to be?
If it happened, it must be part of God’s vast, eternal, unknowable and infinitely mysterious plan.
And, if we know that it was not random but that it was meant to be and part of the great plan of life, then we can possibly find comfort. But if it is random, then why me? Why him? Why her? If there’s no rhyme or reason to life, how can we possibly handle it when things go bad?
That’s why the great religious scholar Chofetz Chaim, once said, “To the skeptic, there are no answers. To the believer, there are no questions.”
If you believe that God runs the world and that every single thing that happens is part of His Divine plan, then we need not ask any questions. We are secure in the knowledge that whatever happened was not random but planned, purposeful, destined and meant to be. One day, in hindsight, we may find the answers. Or, perhaps, we will only know why these things happened when we get to heaven.
And it extends from the big issues of life and death right down to the small stuff. If we suffer a burglary, if we break a leg or stub our toe, we can handle it because it’s all meant to be. There is no such thing as an “accident” or a “coincidence.”
When disappointing things used to happen to my late mother, she always had a Yiddish saying as her response, Zol zein ah kapparah, literally, “May it be an atonement.”
But what it conveys is that if something negative happens, and it’s a pain in the neck, a hassle, or if it’s damaging and disappointing, it’s still OK. I can handle it. Why? Because nobody’s perfect. If I deserved some kind of punishment, so let this little misfortune be my atonement.
Have you heard Yiddish-speaking people say those deeply philosophical Yiddish words, nu, nu, or nisht geferlach, or in Hebrew, Lo norah, meaning “It’s not so terrible.” It’s not that serious. It’s not the end of the world. Life will carry on. Don’t sit down and cry, and don’t become disillusioned or depressed.
If we know that it is meant to be, then we can handle it. This attitude brings such contentment and peace of mind. What do you do for peace of mind? How do you handle the stresses in your life?
Do you shout at your spouse and kids? Do you go and hide in your cave? Do you go out for a drink … or two?
Or maybe you do something healthier, like going for a run or working out in the gym. Or maybe you box and take it out on a punching bag instead of the people in your family.
Perhaps you book yourself into a spa or wellness resort. Maybe you try and get it out of your system by meditating or doing yoga. Maybe you are wealthy enough to pick yourself up and go on vacation to the Bahamas or Hawaii or the Greek Islands.
Well, this rabbi here is telling you that if you can develop the conviction that everything that happens in life—and I mean, EVERYTHING—is part of the vast eternal plan of Almighty God, then you will have peace of mind. You won’t need to go anywhere, and it’s free of charge.
Let’s learn from Joseph so we can find comfort and peace of mind. One change of mindset is all it takes.