For those who know Ben-Gurion International Airport, there is an older man who stands in the area before descending into the main terminal. Dressed in a security uniform, he rarely speaks, barely shows any sign of emotion and seems to be more of an usher directing people toward passport control than any real deterrent.

I arrived at that airport at 3 p.m. on Jan. 19, one hour before the first three hostages—Doron Steinbrecher, Romi Gonen and Emily Danari—were being released as part of the most recent agreement between Israel and Hamas. This time the security guard was neither still nor silent. He played some Israeli pop song loudly from his phone; he smiled, sang and danced as we entered Israel. Walking down the ramp, I saw the posters of these three women, knowing that soon their faces would be removed from among the 94 remaining hostages who have been held in the Gaza Strip since the Hamas-led terrorist attacks on Oct. 7, 2023.

From there, I went straight to “Hostages Square” in Tel Aviv and stood among hundreds of Israelis. All were eagerly awaiting the final word and final signs, and then it came booming across the live broadcast—HaBanot Be Yadeinu—“The young women are in our hands.”

I stayed there for a few hours, not that anything was really happening. But it was a moment just to be with people and to sing “Habayta” (“Home”). There I stood next to a young woman. She was smiling and weeping, but mainly smiling—one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen as she held two hostage posters in her hands of the now-freed hostages, Emily and Romi.

Even as reporters asked her questions, I let her be alone in her moment of happiness, not wanting to interrupt her sheer elation.

Two days later, I sat in a hall at the ANU Museum in Tel Aviv as part of the Israel Educational Travel Alliance, a group dedicated to the field of Israeli educational travel. At that moment, we heard from three people representing the hostage families. The first was Dalia Cusnir, whose two brothers-in-law, Eitan and Yair Horn, remain in Gaza. The second was Ilay David, brother of hostage Evyatar David. The third was the woman I had stood next to two evenings beforehand, Shai Dickman, who I now learned was the cousin of two relatives taken hostage by Hamas: Yarden Roman Gat, who returned from captivity in the first hostage deal, and Carmel Gat, one of the six hostages killed in September.

There is much to be written about the fact that everyone in the Jewish world is only a few degrees separated from one another. But in that moment, all I could do was shed a tear. And when I went up to Shai after the panel and told her about this coincidence, she asked me: “Did you see how much I was smiling?”

In the next few months and years, Jewish educators will struggle with the challenges of balancing the tears and the smiles when telling the story of Oct. 7 and its aftermath. I was with one senior Jewish educator recently who was adamant that the only stories we should tell from that day should be ones of heroism, resilience and pride. I have met many other educators who are deep in planning memorial ceremonies for groups visiting the site of the Nova music festival.

For Jewish educators, this might be a message moving forward for all that we do. While in recent times, many in the community have latched on to the pithy phrase of Jewish life needing to be “more about the joy than the oy,” I am fairly certain that these two sides of Jewish feeling must be embraced. The “oy” and the “joy” are essential components of Jewish life; focusing on both will ultimately enhance the other.

I have long believed that a strong and enduring Jewish identity is fostered by positive intrinsic motivations and not by the extrinsic forces that others bring about on us. But I now realize that as we remember, we must also internalize the tragedies that have befallen our people. In doing so, we recognize that persecution and victimization are inescapable attributes of what it has always meant to be Jewish. Perhaps because we know of the pain that we have endured, we can more deeply appreciate, celebrate and be proud of who we are as a people.

At the time of this writing, four more hostages—Liri Albag, Karina Ariev, Daniella Gilboa and Naama Levy—have been released with three more slated to come home this week as well. I encourage everyone to keep a hostage list and cross off each name as they return. We cannot rest until all of them are brought home so that we can begin our healing.

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