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During a model Passover seder, a young boy breaks a matzah into two pieces during the traditional “yachatz” part of the ceremony. Photo by Nati Shohat/Flash90.

What to do when Passover Eve falls on Shabbat?

Passover Eve falling on Shabbat is a rare occurrence, even in the days when months were sanctified by sighting the new moon. Years could pass without it happening. Even today, with our fixed calendar system,...
Men during the morning prayer service on Nov. 17, 2009. Photo by Nati Shohat/Flash90.

From strength to strength!

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There have been a variety of inquiries and investigations into the reasons that Israel was so shockingly vulnerable to the unprecedented terrorist attack by Hamas on Oct. 7, 2023. The Israel Defense Forces, Shin...
The tabernacle in the wilderness. Credit: Library of Congress.

God in a box

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Martha Goldberg was a middle-aged Jewish woman from the Bronx, N.Y., on her visit to the Far East. After the long trip from New York, she was exhausted but insisted on continuing her journey...
Glass window with a Jewish star. Credit: Nadine Doerle/Pixabay.

The fault line that runs through American Jewry

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Much has been made of the perceived disappearing act of the American Jewish community. Surveys indicate plummeting marriage and birth rates, rampant intermarriage and a lessening affinity with Israel. These indicia have set off alarm...
A 2,000-year-old silver coin found in debris from an excavation in the City of David, Jerusalem. The inscription reads, "Shekel Yisrael." Above the chalice are the Hebrew letters "shin" and "bet," an acronym for "Shana Bet," or year two of the Jewish revolt against Rome. Credit: Eliyahu Yanai/City of David.

Jews and Zionism: An ancient bond

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How old is the concept of Zionism? It did not emerge in 1947 from the U.N. General Assembly Resolution 181 Partition Plan, as those who try to weaponize Zionism would have you believe. It did not emerge...
The Temple Mount as seen from the Jewish Quarter in Jerusalem's Old City on a snowy winter day, Dec. 13, 2013. Photo by Yonatan Sindel/Flash90.

3,000 Jews visit Temple Mount, breaking 1,900-year record for wintery Hebrew month

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For the first time since the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in 70 C.E., more than 3,000 Jews prayed at Judaism's holiest site during the month of Shevat, the Temple Mount Administration said...
A chanukiyah in Meron in northern Israel, on the sixth night of the holiday, on Dec. 15, 2020. Photo by David Cohen/Flash90.

Chanukah over Syria

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This Chanukah, menorahs will be lit not only in the land of Israel, from Jerusalem to Gaza, but in Lebanon and on the heights of Mount Hermon overlooking Syria. Vacationing families will visit the...
Musician Elton John performs "Rocket Man" during his Glastonbury Festival show, June 25, 2023. Credit: Raph_PH via Wikimedia Commons.

Tradition or tragedy?

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I am writing these lines from the United States, where I am nearing the end of my latest speaking tour. I’ve been to New York, Toronto, Detroit, Philadelphia, and now Miami. Coming from South Africa,...
An artist's interpretation of the first Thanksgiving in Plymouth, Mass. Credit: Wikimedia Commons.

The attitude of gratitude: Jewish insights to share at your Thanksgiving table

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Thanksgiving. They got it from us. The evidence: Things they don’t teach you in school, like the Pilgrims modeling their autumn thanksgiving holiday after the Jewish harvest holiday of Sukkot, celebrated just a few weeks...
On several recent flights in the United States, I was rather surprised, and somewhat bemused, to see full-page ads in the airline magazines for a matchmaking service. In fact, there was more than one such service being advertised. Who would believe that in the sophisticated 21st-century, old Yente—the matchmaker from “Fiddler on the Roof”—is being resurrected? “Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch.” Oh, the ad was very slick and professional, but essentially, it was Yente all over again. Frankly, I must admit to feeling gratified seeing that the old shidduch system is alive and well in modern, corporate America. For decades, cultured Jews in the United States and elsewhere looked down upon the shidduch system still practiced in the religious community. It was considered archaic and outdated in the new age where everyone was marrying for love. It was beneath these moderns to rely on a shadchan, a “matchmaker,” to find one’s partner in life. But when you think about it, how many people find their marriage partners completely on their own? Most are introduced by a friend, given a telephone number or invited to a party where the host’s express intention is to introduce a certain man and a woman to each other. It’s probably the exception where two people happen to meet on their own and go on to marry each other, unless they were high school sweethearts who kept up the relationship. If a mutual friend who knows both parties thinks it’s a good match, it stands a far better chance of success than a random meeting at a bar, where one’s judgment is often blurred by the beer. How many people have met their bashert online on the many dating services available today? I don’t know the number, but there are a great many who have. It may be online, but it’s basically a shidduch service. I think there was always a misunderstanding of the shidduch system by people on the outside. Many thought that it was the parents choosing a match for their son or daughter, and the couple themselves had no choice in the matter. Not true! A matchmaker, shadchan, only makes a suggestion. If the couple agrees to meet, there is no coercion to marry. Millions of young religious men and women have gone on one or two dates and decided it’s not for them. End of story. Back to the drawing board until the right person comes up. How different is that from the dating sites or the socialite shadchan-like advertising in the airline magazine? Even in the religious community, parents and mentors always advise young people that there must be chemistry between a couple before they should commit to marriage. When comparing his and her résumés and profiles the union may appear great on paper, but the human element must never be compromised. The couple themselves must feel attracted to one another. As a rule, rabbis or rebbetzins who are asked for advice by indecisive, tentative men and women will always ask if there is an attraction, a vibe, a good feeling between the parties. There’s a lot to be said for the shidduch system, even with its inherent problems, which it does have. Still, the numbers don’t lie, and generations of happy, content, loving families speak for themselves. Yes, in the observant community parents are usually involved in helping their children decide who to date. But that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Parental guidance can be very helpful. Too often, I’ve been asked to counsel families where a son or daughter wanted to marry someone the parents felt was inappropriate. I can confirm that in cases where the young person defied their parents’ objections to the union, the marriage usually didn’t last. Infatuation often gets in the way of logical reasoning. While it is their decision alone, young people would be well advised to listen very carefully to their parents’ opinions and loving advice. This week’s Torah portion, Chaye Sarah, records the very first shidduch in the Bible. Abraham dispatches his trusted servant, Eliezer, to Abraham’s hometown with the singular mission of finding a wife for his son, Isaac. Eliezer meets young Rebecca at the well ... and the rest is history. She is beautiful, exceptionally kind and generous, and she is from the same family as Abraham, his great-niece, in fact. The shidduch is made, and Isaac and Rebecca marry. This match was clearly ordained by heaven, and there wasn’t much dating before it came to pass. But ever since Eliezer—the first shadchan in history—successfully concluded the deal, the shidduch system has served us well. So whether it’s from an ad in a magazine, an online dating service or your local Yente, don’t be shy to look for your bashert through the agency of an intermediary. May all our single men and women who are looking in earnest find their own bashert ASAP.

The very first ‘shidduch’

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On several recent flights in the United States, I was rather surprised, and somewhat bemused, to see full-page ads in the airline magazines for a matchmaking service. In fact, there was more than one...