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    Ten Israeli couples with a member serving in the Israel Defense Forces taking part in a mass wedding ceremony part of Chabad of Savyon’s “Marrying the Warriors,” in Tel Aviv Port, March 5, 2024. Photo by Chaim Goldberg/Flash90.

    Marriage tips from Jacob?

    Jewish World
    By
    Rabbi Yossy Goldman
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    They say that the definition of a successful man is one who can earn more than his wife can spend. And the definition of a successful woman is one who can find such a...
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    Friends and family attend a ceremony in memory of Israeli soldier Omer Neutra, who was murdered on Oct. 7, 2023, and whose body remains hostage in the Gaza Strip, Ra'anana, Dec. 2, 2024. Photo by Yehoshua Yosef/Flash90.

    ‘Always looked out for the little guy,’ friends say of Omer Neutra

    Jewish World
    By
    Izzy Salant
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    Michelle Rich, director of teen travel and international engagement at United Synagogue Youth, laughs as she tells JNS about a memory she has of Omer Neutra, an Israeli-American 22-year-old, whose death on Oct. 7...
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    100 American Jewish mothers visit Israel as part of emotional trip with Momentum

    Jewish World
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    Jewish Website
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    A group of 100 women from eight American cities visited Israel from Nov. 4-11 as part of an eight-day trip organized by the global Jewish organization Momentum, which aims to inspire Jewish women to...
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    Thousands of rabbis gathered in New York at the annual International Conference of Chabad-Lubavitch Emissaries pose for a group photo in front of Chabad-Lubavitch world headquarters in the Crown Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn on Dec. 1, 2024. Credit: Shmulie Grossbaum/Chabad.org.

    Thousands of Chabad rabbis pose for ‘massive display of Jewish pride’

    Jewish World
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    Jewish Website
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    The thousands of Chabad rabbis who posed for a group photograph on Sunday during the international conference of shluchim ("emissaries") in the Crown Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn, N.Y., created an image that "is not only a...
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    6 Time-Tested Turkey Cooking Methods for Thanksgiving

    Jewish World
    By
    Davis R. Cohen and Jerry Cohen
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    A Thanksgiving turkey is the largest food item many American Jews will ever cook. Often weighing 20 pounds or more, a turkey is bigger than an untrimmed brisket and almost quadruple the size of a...
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    A Thanksgiving movie marathon with Jewish flavor

    Jewish World
    By
    Alina D. Sharon
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    Why just watch the Macy’s parade when you can celebrate the holiday with flicks like “Fiddler on the Roof” and “The Ten Commandments?” In addition to cooking all day and eating to your heart’s content...
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    An artist's interpretation of the first Thanksgiving in Plymouth, Mass. Credit: Wikimedia Commons.

    The attitude of gratitude: Jewish insights to share at your Thanksgiving table

    Jewish World
    By
    Deborah Fineblum
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    Thanksgiving. They got it from us. The evidence: Things they don’t teach you in school, like the Pilgrims modeling their autumn thanksgiving holiday after the Jewish harvest holiday of Sukkot, celebrated just a few weeks...
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    Israel’s oldest citizen turns 110

    Jewish World
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    Jewish Website
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    Israel's most senior citizen marked her 110th birthday this week with a heartfelt celebration organized by the staff at Netanya's Laniado Hospital. Born in 1914 in Kraśnik, Poland, Tzila Cohen immigrated to pre-state Israel alone...
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    Kinkaku-ji (Golden Temple) in Kyoto. Credit: Jaycangel/Wikipedia.

    Jewish Americans visit Japan as part of diplomacy, culture tour

    Jewish World
    By
    David Swindle
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    On Monday, B’nai B’rith International announced the completion of a week-long trip organized by the Japan International Cooperation Center as part of the Japanese government’s annual Kakehashi Project. The project, funded by the Japanese Ministry of...
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    On several recent flights in the United States, I was rather surprised, and somewhat bemused, to see full-page ads in the airline magazines for a matchmaking service. In fact, there was more than one such service being advertised. Who would believe that in the sophisticated 21st-century, old Yente—the matchmaker from “Fiddler on the Roof”—is being resurrected? “Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch.” Oh, the ad was very slick and professional, but essentially, it was Yente all over again. Frankly, I must admit to feeling gratified seeing that the old shidduch system is alive and well in modern, corporate America. For decades, cultured Jews in the United States and elsewhere looked down upon the shidduch system still practiced in the religious community. It was considered archaic and outdated in the new age where everyone was marrying for love. It was beneath these moderns to rely on a shadchan, a “matchmaker,” to find one’s partner in life. But when you think about it, how many people find their marriage partners completely on their own? Most are introduced by a friend, given a telephone number or invited to a party where the host’s express intention is to introduce a certain man and a woman to each other. It’s probably the exception where two people happen to meet on their own and go on to marry each other, unless they were high school sweethearts who kept up the relationship. If a mutual friend who knows both parties thinks it’s a good match, it stands a far better chance of success than a random meeting at a bar, where one’s judgment is often blurred by the beer. How many people have met their bashert online on the many dating services available today? I don’t know the number, but there are a great many who have. It may be online, but it’s basically a shidduch service. I think there was always a misunderstanding of the shidduch system by people on the outside. Many thought that it was the parents choosing a match for their son or daughter, and the couple themselves had no choice in the matter. Not true! A matchmaker, shadchan, only makes a suggestion. If the couple agrees to meet, there is no coercion to marry. Millions of young religious men and women have gone on one or two dates and decided it’s not for them. End of story. Back to the drawing board until the right person comes up. How different is that from the dating sites or the socialite shadchan-like advertising in the airline magazine? Even in the religious community, parents and mentors always advise young people that there must be chemistry between a couple before they should commit to marriage. When comparing his and her résumés and profiles the union may appear great on paper, but the human element must never be compromised. The couple themselves must feel attracted to one another. As a rule, rabbis or rebbetzins who are asked for advice by indecisive, tentative men and women will always ask if there is an attraction, a vibe, a good feeling between the parties. There’s a lot to be said for the shidduch system, even with its inherent problems, which it does have. Still, the numbers don’t lie, and generations of happy, content, loving families speak for themselves. Yes, in the observant community parents are usually involved in helping their children decide who to date. But that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Parental guidance can be very helpful. Too often, I’ve been asked to counsel families where a son or daughter wanted to marry someone the parents felt was inappropriate. I can confirm that in cases where the young person defied their parents’ objections to the union, the marriage usually didn’t last. Infatuation often gets in the way of logical reasoning. While it is their decision alone, young people would be well advised to listen very carefully to their parents’ opinions and loving advice. This week’s Torah portion, Chaye Sarah, records the very first shidduch in the Bible. Abraham dispatches his trusted servant, Eliezer, to Abraham’s hometown with the singular mission of finding a wife for his son, Isaac. Eliezer meets young Rebecca at the well ... and the rest is history. She is beautiful, exceptionally kind and generous, and she is from the same family as Abraham, his great-niece, in fact. The shidduch is made, and Isaac and Rebecca marry. This match was clearly ordained by heaven, and there wasn’t much dating before it came to pass. But ever since Eliezer—the first shadchan in history—successfully concluded the deal, the shidduch system has served us well. So whether it’s from an ad in a magazine, an online dating service or your local Yente, don’t be shy to look for your bashert through the agency of an intermediary. May all our single men and women who are looking in earnest find their own bashert ASAP.

    The very first ‘shidduch’

    Jewish World
    By
    Rabbi Yossy Goldman
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    On several recent flights in the United States, I was rather surprised, and somewhat bemused, to see full-page ads in the airline magazines for a matchmaking service. In fact, there was more than one...
    Read more
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